Indian Matchmaking: Netflix’s ‘divisive’ dating show causes storm

In the fall of , I was anxiously awaiting the premiere of a new reality show based on the idea of arranged marriage. There were a lot of postings on this topic from ew. The new reality show has the potential to open up an alternative way to think about marriage in the U. What I would like to explore in this column is how we currently define and think of the representation of arranged marriages in the context of Indian arranged marriages and matchmaking on American television. When arranged marriage appears on American television, it usually is represented as a practice that is antithetical to romantic love in the U. Comedies such as The Office and The Simpsons emphasize the foreign nature of a practice associated with Indians who are also Hindus. There are many variations in the expression of arranged marriage but most television narratives related to South Asians I discuss this further in my longer project on South Asians in American Popular culture tend to focus on three aspects, first, the match and marriage is set up by the family and is not an individual choice, second, there is no love in arranged matches, and thirdly, your partner is a stranger.

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Netflix docu-series Indian Matchmaking ends with a montage of happy, elderly couples in a bid to validate the concept of arranged marriage. Married for decades, these couples, especially women, seemingly, had no say in choosing their partners and unquestioningly agreed to what their parents wanted. In India, men and women are expected to get married when they reach a certain age as there is a fear that they would not find the right partner, or no partner at all, as they grow older.

It is , but the perception still holds true across caste, class and communities.

Indian Matchmaking, arranged marriages, netflix, wedding, wedding Mundhra talk modern-day arranged marriages, astrology, and more.

I was in the middle of an editorial meeting at the newspaper I worked for in when it came out of nowhere: an overwhelming sense of fear, the trembling hands, the absolute certainty that my heart was going to burst out of my chest. It would be years before I understood that what I had experienced that day — and would on three subsequent occasions — was a panic attack.

I was 24, and just two hours before, my parents had called to ask me to be home on time that night. I had no intention of watching it. I had been there, done that, gotten the T-shirt and made a bonfire from it. It is a practice that is followed in several Middle Eastern countries, Japan and Turkey, among others.

What makes a show like ‘Indian Matchmaking’ possible? This book examines marriage in India

Is it true that traditionally, Jewish marriages were arranged marriages? Does Judaism mandate or legitimize this practice? If arranged means coerced—no.

Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking‘: The true colours of arranged marriage ain’t pretty. The show is about eight adults and matchmaker Sima ‘Mami’.

Indian Matchmaking treads into dangerous territory when it allows Sima Taparia free rein to reinforce regressive methods of Indian matchmaking as undeniable fact. During the episode, Basra explained to Justin how she might have rushed into marriage, in part due to her Indian family pressuring her. How could I ever trust you? How could anyone ever trust you?

The idea is very much to translate the aspirations, insecurities, and fixations of a community for a global audience unfamiliar with its beats. The trouble is, over the course of eight abruptly structured episodes, Indian Matchmaking becomes an infuriating exercise in delusion, ending up doing exactly what it intended to rally against: exoticising a calculated, cultural practice that in reality is steeped in decades of misogyny, casteism, and gender inequality.

Commentary: What Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’ doesn’t tell you about arranged marriage

The show is about eight adults and matchmaker Sima ‘Mami’ who has promised to find them their life partner. I spent my weekend like many others, binge-watching the new series Indian Matchmaking that premiered last week on Netflix. From the first few responses to the show on social media, I knew that I was supposed to hate the show, be outraged at matchmaker Sima, roll my eyes at prospective bride Aparna, and cringe at every statement prospective groom Akshay ever makes.

But if I were to be honest, that’s not exactly what happened. I was hooked to it though I was also going ‘yikes’ at frequent intervals.

Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking is a buzzy new reality TV series about single, In the arranged marriage institution, proposals are familial, not individual. and more than 87% claim to approve of Black-White Marriage (vs.

Vikram Zutschi, is matchmaking successful, arranged marriage in India, Indian Matchmaking show, love marriage vs arranged marriage, is arranged marriage outdated, India arranged marriages, how common is arranged marriage today, best way to find a partner, best way to find love. Finance Eurozone International Trade. Entrepreneurship Startups Technology. Entertainment Music Film Books Travel. Climate change Smart cities Green Economy. Sign Up Login Publish. I agree to receive emails and other content from Fair Observer.

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The latest reality series on Netflix has left netizens fuming. To her surprise, the year-old met her future husband and is set to get married in January next year. Mumbai-based Anindita Dey—married for over a year now — also met her husband through her parents.

web show deals with the age-old Indian arranged marriage rigmarole. Indian Matchmaking ranked three in Netflix’s top 10 list for India on.

Love actually! The times are changing, but slowly. Singh, who works at a government regulatory organisation, had one non-negotiable condition. She would not give up her job. Her parents were keen on the caste factor but soon gave in to what she wanted. So, Singh met and interacted with at least 10 men, some for even a few months, before zeroing in on Aditya Fogat, now her husband.

Romantic indian arranged marriage thamil stories

The show, which has generated a lot of buzz online, follows Sima Taparia, a high-profile matchmaker from Mumbai who sets couples up with prospective matches. While the show has triggered a debate on sexism, colourism and racism, it has managed to throw the spotlight on the age-old Indian custom of arranged marriage. Over the last two decades, several Bollywood films and reality TV shows have explored the concept of arranged marriages in their own way and have done justice to the theme.

The show is about the central figure, Aneela Rahman, a Glasgow based British-Asian marriage arranger, who gets her family and friends to network together and find the perfect partner for the contestants in a four-week period.

Matchmaking Vs. Arranged Marriage: What’s The Difference? 03/28/ ​46am EDT | Updated November 17, Created with Sketch. Created with.

It works like this in South Asia, at least:. These initial marriages are then filtered by social and economic considerations like class, income, education, profession, religion and https. The write-ups are accompanied with photographs. Usually, a studio man in a flattering angle. The picture is the clincher. A close-up to check for childhood acne and make-up marriages. The girls shortlist their photographs as how.

She swipes left and how on the quora, as her parents look over her shoulder helplessly. Else they start dating over site, lunch, and movies. Both boy and girl audition for the role of future son-in-https and daughter-in-law as best they can. If they marry to go through with it, an love is worked out. Some families skip it altogether for the big fat wedding.

Sometimes horoscopes or astrological marriages are exchanged. But hooray!

Commentary: What Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’ doesn’t tell you about arranged marriage

Religious faith has long held a strong link to matchmaking and arranged marriage. In Jewish tradition, God was the original matchmaker, creating Eve out of Adam’s rib so that the two could share company and procreate [source: Kadden and Kadden ]. Therefore, matchmakers held a prominent position in Jewish history. Fathers customarily bore the responsibility of selecting adequate grooms for their daughters and might request assistance from a local matchmaker, or shadchan , to seek out an eligible bachelor.

As arranged marriages, inextricably woven into India’s societal fabric, come under the scanner with a new Netflix show ”Indian Matchmaking”.

Skip navigation! Story from Best of Netflix. I do not typically spend time watching reality TV , which might surprise some considering I was once on a reality show. Given my own experience and ethnic background, I wanted to love the show and be supportive, but to me the series fell flat and overly simplified and stereotyped what it means to be Indian. Although the couples Sima fixes up are not forced to marry, the end goal of matchmaking is that, after a few dates, the people involved will commit to an eventual engagement or Roka.

After having a Roka, the couple can plan their nuptials on their own timeline and get to know each other more. A Roka took place in the last episode of the show by the only couple that chose to move forward together with the marriage process. Now that the show is out, however, it has emerged that the couple is no longer engaged. The Roka may have been staged specifically for the show.

Love marriages are those in which a couple meets organically, arranged marriages include concerted efforts from both families and friends or a matchmaker to find appropriate marital partners. Arranged marriages are not much different then swiping on Tinder or asking to be set up by your friends. I had a love marriage, but experienced a lot of pressure from my family to marry while still dating because my partner was a great match on paper: same religion, tall, from the same area in India, etc.

Not that this makes my divorce my fault. I believe that every relationship has its own merits, and you can learn from failure as much as from success — a belief that resulted in being belittled by one of my dates on the first season of Dating Aroun d.

Matchmaking Vs. Arranged Marriage: What’s The Difference?

Matchmaker Sima Taparia guides clients in the U. Sima meets three unlucky-in-love clients: a stubborn Houston lawyer, a picky Mumbai bachelor and a misunderstood Morris Plains, N. Friends and family get honest with Pradhyuman. Sima consults a face reader for clarity on her clients.

Outrage-centric TRPs of Indian Matchmaking aside, here is what millennials have to both good and bad, with the arranged marriage process. Jayate’, says Parth Pawar · 2mins Eng vs Pak | Early start time makes sense.

More than a decade ago, I went through a brief spell of looking for an arranged match, like the cast of the show. Matches have been arranged through community intervention for centuries because, due to the conservative nature of an Indian society that, in nonurban areas, still frowns upon the free mixing of young people beyond impersonal community activities. And, these days, if the candidates are from educated, urban and liberal homes, they meet and talk before getting married.

The first thing that struck me as I watched this dumpster fire of a show is how accurately it portrayed that stripping off of any human emotion from the process of finding a life partner. A young woman with entrepreneurial spirit was firmly told that losing her identity is one of the compromises of a happy marriage. Meanwhile, the standards to which they are subjected are dehumanizing. Most Indian women — especially those who have gone through this process — know intimately what it feels like to be spoken about like a Starbucks coffee: Tall.

The real villain of the story — despite how she is portrayed in viral social media memes — is not Sima Aunty, the matchmaker who passes nonchalant and sweeping judgments on the women of the show. For instance, she called a woman mentally unstable for refusing to settle for a man she didn’t like.

New dating app is like the Tinder of arranged marriages

Sushmita Pathak. Is it a match? A potential couple meet up courtesy of a matchmaker in the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. Netflix hide caption.

Commentary: What Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking‘ doesn’t tell you about arranged marriage. Akshay Jakhete, right, in an episode of “Indian.

I was in the middle of an editorial meeting at the newspaper I worked for in when it came out of nowhere: an overwhelming sense of fear, the trembling hands, the absolute certainty that my heart was going to burst out of my chest. It would be years before I understood that what I had experienced that day — and would on three subsequent occasions — was a panic attack. I was 24, and just two hours before, my parents had called to ask me to be home on time that night.

I had no intention of watching it. I had been there, done that, gotten the T-shirt and made a bonfire from it. It is a practice that is followed in several Middle Eastern countries, Japan and Turkey, among others.

Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage